Dependent 40-year-old man-child refuses to equally divide house chores after requesting to split expenses with 42-year-old girlfriend, She refuses to move in together until he lives alone for one year: 'Prove you can look after yourself'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Aug 1, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Before reading this story, we suggest you pull out your phone, open up your Spotify apps, and have a quick listen to Sabrina Carpenter's Manchild…

Now that you've followed our fundamental instructions, we can continue with the pathetic case of our very own man-child, and his 'unique' case of the 'But my mommy never made me clean up!'

Well, Jerry, you're a 40-year-old man who has never lived alone and is requesting your girlfriend to divide expenses down the middle, so we think it's time you learn how to pick up your weight around the house, or at least learn how to pick up a dishcloth…

So it is no surprise that when his lack of, how would one say…desire to contribute to house chores, causes his girlfriend to demand that he live on his own for at least a year, before they move forward in finding a place together! 

What better way to teach a man-child a lesson than by taking his toys away and making him prove that he has learnt how to look after them all by himself! 

What a good boy!

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  • What's worse than a manchild, a mama's boy manchild. 

    And shocker…plenty of them exist, and here we have our prime example. After this 40-year-old man, who has never lived alone, refuses to help out around the house, claiming that he is just a ‘slow cleaner’, his girlfriend sees right through him. So his family comes to the rescue, continuing to stir the already boiling pot even further. 

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    "I've now told him that I won't even consider living with him until he's lived on his own for at least a a year"
    via pajarosvolandophotos

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITAH for telling my partner he needs to live on his own

    my partner M40 has been staying at my house F42 for the past week. Last night the topic of living together came up. He said
    via OkCantaloupe6148
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    the only fair way to split bills is to go 50:50 on everything (we both earn similar amounts so fair enough) so I bought up the topic
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    of splitting household jobs. His response was "I'm much slower than you so I'll do the kitchen you can handle the rest" (taking 2
    via OkCantaloupe6148
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    hours to clean dishes and a further 2 hours to wipe sides and clean the floor) I suggested he needs to learn to do it faster, his
    via OkCantaloupe6148
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    response was "I do it at my pace, I won't be going quicker" i pointed out it's not a fair division if I'm paying half the bills and doing
    via OkCantaloupe6148
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    90% of the household jobs, so I suggested I'll do 90% of the household jobs and pay 10% of the bills. He's now complaining
    via OkCantaloupe6148
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    that it's not fair and I only want him for his money. His family are telling me he's just a bit slower to do that stuff and I should deal
    via OkCantaloupe6148
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    Cheezburger Image 10535978240
    via gettyimages

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    with it. I've now told him that I won't even consider living with him until he's lived on his own for at least a year and can prove he
    via OkCantaloupe6148
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    can look after himself. (He's never lived independently, always lived with his parents, partner or housemates) I'm now being called an a-h e because I've said I'm not being used for free. labour. So, AITAH
    via OkCantaloupe6148
  • 12
    diamondgreene "My mommy does it all and you should too." GD gurl. 40 yo man still having mommy do everything? Dump the man child.
    via diamondgreene
  • 13
    pccfriedal Wow, his family must have been frothing at the idea of dropping this human potato on you. NTA, of course.
    via pccfriedal
  • 14
    Ok_Passage_6242 This is what every woman's response should be when a man tries to move in with her and take over her space. NTA
    via Ok_Passage_6242
  • 15
    FitScholar1518 NTA. Sabrina Carpenter has a new song about this called MANCHILD. Dump this dude and find someone who's an actual adult.
    via FitScholar1518
  • 16
    CraftyHon He can move at whatever pace he wants- doing 50% of the chores.
    via CraftyHon
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    Ok-Pomegranate 3318 Hang on, your bf is a 40yo man who is still living at home? Girl, just run. He won't be the man you hope he'll be because he's never learnt to be an adult outside of work. He'll be the perfect example of weaponised incompetence.
    via Ok-Pomegranate3318
  • 18
    Dumboratlover NTA is completely fair to think he should live by himself for a bit to prove he can actually live independently. Wouldn't suggest at all letting him move in so I think you have the right mindset
    via Dumboratlover
  • 19
    Glittering-War-3809 A 40 year old man who has never lived alone? How do you even date someone like that? I'd imagine this isn't the only area of life he is stunted in.
    via Glittering-War-3809
  • 20
    Jay_A_Why Not the ah le. The chores should be hole. split 50/50, and he can take however long he needs to. I'm sure he will learn to do it faster on his own, without you telling him... and if he doesn't, that's on him... it still gets done.
    via Jay_A_Why
  • 21
    rocktheredfan NTA. Even when I lived in a place without a dishwasher, it never took close to two hours to do several days of dishes. What in the world is he doing for all of that time?? Definitely don't move in with him and get him out of your place asap before he gets too comfortable
    via rocktheredfan
  • 22
    graceyperkins So I read this story aloud, my daughter missed the beginning ages. She legitimately thought it was a mother and teenager. The look of horror when she realized it was a grown man.
    via graceyperkins
  • 23
    Lanky_Particular_149 Absolutely. Unfortunately their mothers and family won't teach these men to stand on their own so we have to set our standards and KEEP THEM until these men realize they can stay single if they don't believe in equality in a relationship.
    via Lanky_Particular_149
  • 24
    quasimotoe98 NTAH. Jeez he needs to get a grip, being like at as a 40yo is embarrassing.
    via quasimotoe98
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    Dane_k23 Why is his family getting involved in this?! Major !
    via Dane_k23
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    Puzzleheaded Goal8234 ΝΤΑ He's 40. He's never had to do things 100% for himself. I sincerely doubt he knows how to even carry 50% of the load.
    via PuzzleheadedGoal8234
  • 27
    MeggieMay 1988 So his mommy has created a useless man child, and now she's sick of it. Now they are trying to make you be his new mommy. Good for you, standing up for yourself!!! NTA!
    via MeggieMay1988

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Tags

splitting-expenses boyfriend one year manchild lazy adulting mama's-boy relationship-drama relationships girlfriend house chores dependant fairness living alone memebase 5050
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